how much my mom loved me
I had a moment earlier this week that was strange and powerful and wonderful. I was looking at Mathilda and felt the love I had for her exploding from my heart. It was like all kinds of energy was spewing from my heart chakra (if you're into that sort of thing...I'm not sure that I am). As I felt that I thought to myself, "My mom must have felt that way about me." For some reason, that thought had never crossed my mind.
When I think about my mom, mostly I feel sad for myself that she's not alive and doesn't know me as an adult or know my family. I feel sad that Mathilda doesn't get to have her Grossmutter or Biene or whatever my mom would have wanted to be called.
Anyway, in that moment, I felt her love for me and it was so comforting. Maybe she was even there somehow in that moment.
I was just looking at these old photos examining them for signs of that deep love, that adoring gaze of a mother deeply in love with her child. I see them...Wasn't she beautiful? That last picture just kills me. She looks so lost in thought...dreamy and sad. I wonder what she's thinking. I wish I could ask.
When I think about my mom, mostly I feel sad for myself that she's not alive and doesn't know me as an adult or know my family. I feel sad that Mathilda doesn't get to have her Grossmutter or Biene or whatever my mom would have wanted to be called.
Anyway, in that moment, I felt her love for me and it was so comforting. Maybe she was even there somehow in that moment.
I was just looking at these old photos examining them for signs of that deep love, that adoring gaze of a mother deeply in love with her child. I see them...Wasn't she beautiful? That last picture just kills me. She looks so lost in thought...dreamy and sad. I wonder what she's thinking. I wish I could ask.
